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January 15th, 2008


i'm shutting this thing down. find me on facebook.

October 6th, 2006

I read a story. Here is a part.

"I said at the beginning that I make no apologies. What I meant was that i make no excuses. I drove home fantasizing. I hugged my wife. My sexual interest in Brianna had nothing to do with Sasha. Women will dismiss this as cliche, but I know it's one of those cliches that is utterly true. I can understand why women feel betrayed by the deceit of infidelity, how conned they feel at a change of plan, of structure, without their being involved, how their men change the rules, lie, dip, dive, curve underneath them, avoid discovery. I can see how foolish they feel, why the idea of their man naked with another somebody offends the ego and heart. But I don't understand why they think that sexual arousal for another woman has anything to do with them. Wanting to possess a different woman does not reflect on the beloved. So I went home and kissed my wife."

Here is another part. The protagonist is a photographer.

"A ... critic once damned me to hell, in the days before my computer was crammed with kiss-kiss e-mails from my agent: "The way that Jeremy Butler brings his models to the frame suggests coercion of the lowest kind. Underneath the smiles are screaming women, if you can only bend close enough to hear them." I crumpled the review and dismissed him. But after Brianna I've often wondered whether I cured any of the women I captured. I wonder if I truley did cure my mother, or whether I just wanted to believe that I had. I realized that I imagined all of them changed, confident, careless in the knowledge of their beauty forever, a swath behind me, all made up of whole and hearty ladies, purring in the knowledge of the wondrousness that Jerry Butler showed them. Now I wonder if I made it worse; whether the magic faded and left them emptier than before. I used them. I may not have touched any of them except Brianna, but I look at my old work and see how I masturbated with their souls."

September 20th, 2006

new boots

blew $60 on new boots for me.

this was funny.

Do people call you "Ice Queen" or "Satan incarnate" on a regular basis? It's cuz they're jealous! You've already discovered your place in life, and you won't lay down your beliefs for anyone else. People respect you for your confidence, and look up to the fact that you get what you want, when you want it. Your attitude towards life may be somewhat pessimistic, but you don't like wasting your time with flighty delusions. You might scare people off with your image, and part of it may have to do with the fact that you harbor rebellious feelings towards anything authoritative. But it's those kind of people who get things changed around here.
Which Soul Calibur character are you?
this quiz was made by david park

and i'm done for today. oh besides the three more hours of class, the lessons till six, and the homework. Completely done.

September 6th, 2006

first day of school

right off the bat i'm having a good day!
but slightly pissoed by the fact that my stats class requires some homework be done between today and friday. I bought the book but it has not arrived yet! yay!! the library only has the 8th edition and i need the 12th edition. yay!!!

there is a woman behind me who works for st. kates yet does not believe in organized religion. she is helping a guy who wants her to go to his church bc she helped him print his pdf document. um...............

only had one class so far, and i'm pretty excited to have math again. it's only been like four years. oh stats

meg and I have been watching this Korean drama(soap opera). It is highly addictive and we stayed up till 3 on monday night and till eleven yesterday.
other news!
i just gave myself a papercut on the wrist so it looks like i have a suicide attempt scar!! wow i love paper cuts! they feel so good. i want a thousand all over my body!!

what else? oh i bought a chair at IKEA and it broke right away bc it only cost $18.00 and so i went back and bought one of those super cool business chairs for $70.00. it reminds me of when you get lots of food bc your eyes are hungry. well, my eyes wanted the chair and my wallet seems very empty today.

cheers darlins

August 1st, 2006


made this in one hour. I rock my socks.

June 15th, 2006

so, you're stalking

O Rose, Thou art sick.
The invisible worm
That flies in the night
In the howling storm

Has found out they bed
Of crimson joy,
And his dark secret love
Does thy life destroy.

The Sick Rose - William Blake


She is not fair to outward view
As many maidens be,
Her loveliness I never knew
Until she smiled on me;
O, then I saw her eye was bright,
A well of love, a spring of light!

But now her looks are coy and cold
To mine they ne'er reply,
And yet I cease not to behold
The love-light in her eye:
Her very frowns are fairer far
Than smiles of other maidens are.

Song - Samuel Taylor Coleridge



April 11th, 2006

not doing homework!

I am 16% Idiot.
Friggin Genius
I am not annoying at all. In fact most people come to me for advice. Of course they annoy the hell out of me. But what can I do? I am smarter than most people.

March 9th, 2006



this is the first picture i've taken of Goma, she was picture shy.

She wakes up with me

Goma investigates my butt... and then falls asleep with her head there! =o

Goma investigates my shoulder, and then sleeps on me there too!

she is going to be a spoiled drama queen and i wouldn't have it any other way. Goma says "hello darlings"

March 7th, 2006


i bought a puppy. her name is goma, she is 11 weeks old, and she loves me.

February 27th, 2006

i've hit a wall

I'm supposed to know about sociology, but i can't think of any really active current social movements to write about in this huge paper that is due in two days. =(
i can't think of anything i want to write ten pages about...
i'm bummed.

lots of saddness due to not going to avenpitch. ( i have two shirts and i really wanted to wear both of them at the same time. one as a shirt and one as a hat)

I'm also not so happy due to relationship status changes.
Not really a LJ kind of thing.

I'd love a call from Meg, and Sarah I know you're busy I got the Voicemail, so call me up when you're more free, i'm busy myself on Monday and Tuesday due to the Sociology paper i can't seem to start...

i'm bummed that i'm bummed. sucks
but on an up note, i have The Strokes' new album. and beautiful Julian Casablancas is singing me to and fro wherever i go.
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